Out for the count Thursday and Friday of Chemo Week #3

Its early Saturday morning, The past two days I could not do much other than drag around the house and sleep. I think I have read this is refereed to as "Temodar Daze". Let me try to explain my state of mind and body during the late days of the 5/23 Chemo cycle.

I have often said that I have an ongoing mild headache, the way my head feels on Temodar Daze adds the following side effects:

• A slight dizziness:
  I am usually pretty sure on my feet, but in the Daze I often have the sensation I am moving. No ladders for sure.
• Sluggish thought / Loss of concentration:
  This is mostly what keeps me home from work the last two days of the cycle. I am usually a very intense person when it comes to proposing solutions to any problem presented to me. In the Daze, I can walk around a talk, but my head is pretty much 'blank' of any ideas.
• My head kinda feels like it is filled with jello:
  This is more of a pain issue that occurs when I move around faster than a turtle. I know it sounds weird, but it feels like my brain is 'floating' in my head. This  gets worse as the day goes on, and towards the end of the day I am stuck in bed. 

Let me re-iterate that these intense side effects only happen the last 2 days of the 5 days per month I am taking Temodar. During these days I am able to tool around the house a little bit, and I will be able to go back to work on Monday.

The steroid I tried this cycle did have some effect on energy, but it is not worth it to me. It gives me stomach cramps. I have been trying to mitigate these cramps with small, frequent, healthy meals. Eating a bacon cheeseburger off the Weber would probably sit in my gut like a rock for a week. Fruit, granola bars, fruit, and a ham sandwich get me through the day. Then I eat a light portion of whatever Holly cooks up for my din din.

One more note. The anxiety I get taking 4th and 5th days of the Temodar is unbelievable. Sitting there, feeling like roadkill, and having to take another dose which will make me feel even worse tomorrow. This week I tried some relaxation techniques (Pink Floyd and Deep Breathing Exercises) for an hour before taking the dose. This did help bring the anxiety down and I was able to fall asleep faster.

Lastly, one emotional note. During these Temodar Daze I am laying around the house looking very sick. It really bothers me having the kids see me like this. I think it scares them because it seems things are getting worse. I have tried to explain to them that this medicine has these nasty side effects, but should make me better in the long run. Unfortunately, words do not always cover up reality.