Turning 50 next month, some reflection on my life

I just realized that after posting in this blog for the past 7+ years that I really never introduced my self. One of the main reasons I started this blog was to give my friends an family have a place to get the latest state of affairs. Since then, this blog has seen over 70 thousand visitors. I only know about 25 people, so, ugh, Hi my name is Ed. I grew up in the South suburbs of Chicago and still live in the area. I have a Beautiful wife and two teenage children. I graduated from UIC with an engineering degree in  degree in 1991 and have worked in that field since. Interests include technology, music,  handyman work, hiking and camping. I'll be turning 50, the big five-oh, next month.

Now let me get on to my blog post about how I feel about getting old with cancer.

I'm am not just an engineer by training, I was born an engineer. Searching for knowledge and understanding is in my blood. I am a very pragmatic person as opposed to being spiritual. I was raised Catholic, but I am not the church-going type. I do lead a christian life, believing in and exercising the teachings in the bible.  I have intentionally kept religion out of this blog. My intention is to detail the pragmatic facts and emotions of my brain tumor journey. I do not discount the power of faith and religion, it's just not how I philosophically approach life. I lead a christian life because I believe it is an exceptional program that leads to eternal happiness, not because God is going to punish me if I don't. Eternal you say?

Now approaching 50, and considering my condition, I am closer than most 50 year olds to finding out exactly what eternity is. There is a lot of talk in the bible about Heaven and Hell. Eternal happiness or suffering. Will I make the cut? I suspect this question drives a lot of pragmatic people like me back to church as they age. Cramming for the final exam, perhaps.

I have always been more concerned with living with my conscience than passing the final. There will come a time when no more actions can clear your conscience, after which you will have to live with yourself and your thoughts. This can be Heaven or Hell in your last years depending on how you ran your life.  I think the keys to eternal happiness can be boiled down to a few guiding principals:

• Be Honest
• Be Generous
• Be Grateful
• Exercise Compassion over Hate

These words are much bigger than they look. Please take a moment and read through them again and reflect on what they mean to you. Also think about what is not on the list that many people associate with happiness. These fast-burning aspirations are fruitless in the long run. Sermon over. Looking back on my life, I think I have a decent job following this guidance. I don't worry about running out of time. I look forward to enjoying the rest of my life.