I had a MRI and check up today, Oncologist says the new, and old, tumours are stable - no appreciable growth. I'll be starting the 5th cycle of chemotherapy this Sunday. I get a lot of questions about what chemotherapy for brain tumours is; well, its a prescription. A nasty prescription. The pic below is the dose for one day, 6 pills. I take the 6 pills every day for 5 days (1 cycle). There is one cycle every 4 weeks. The pills are difficult to swallow, your body does not want them. I drink 3 of those large glasses of water with one dose.
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| One dose of Chemotherapy (Temodar) |
Taking the chemotherapy is sooo nasty, the last cycle I had a panic attack before taking a dose. First panic attack in my life. I did NOT want to take those pills. I told the nurse about it, and she suggested I go to a counsellor that specializes in cancer. Off I went to a counsellor, for the first time in my life. It come out in talking with the counsellor that I do not see the benefit of the chemotherapy. I see/feel plenty of the cost (me feeling sick pretty much all the time), and I don't really understand what the pay-off is. I've seen data on Temodar that suggests the improvement on survival is about a couple months. I'm thinking WTF - Why should I put myself through this month after month for over a year...if all I am expecting to gain is an extra couple months of my time here? Does not seem like a fair deal to me...thus the anxiety issue. The counsellor showed me the forest through the trees, She said tell the doctor this and ask if I am missing something.
So today I did just that. The doctor seemed a bit irritated. He said a lot of what I already knew; the studies are over a wide range of patients with a wide range of brain tumours. Statistics are misleading 82% of the time. He continued that the genetic markers of
MY tumour are especially favourable to Temodar therapy, and it is clear (to him anyway) that the therapy is stunting the growth of the tumour. "In your case, the therapy is buying you years, if not decades of time." I should not fret over what gonna happen 10 years down the road, I need to do focus on what needs to happen today - one can't redo today tomorrow.
